Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
