R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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