I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
