so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
