I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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