Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
