people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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