They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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