So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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