And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
