we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
