Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
