Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
