seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
