Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
