Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
