His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
