First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
