like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
