i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
