First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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