Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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