it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
