dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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