Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???

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(818): View more from California

Finally jerked of with a banana peel.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.

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(219): View more from Indiana

where are my pants?

(1-219): View more from Indiana

you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(915): View more from Texas

Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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(914): View more from New York

Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him

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(650): View more from California

Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Happy you have kids and I don't day!

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(631): View more from New York

I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face

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