Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita

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  (410): You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita http://tfl.nu/ih02
  Replies (5) Good night (589) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches

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  (618): its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches http://tfl.nu/86sw
  Replies (25) Good night (3518) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class

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  (865): Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class http://tfl.nu/v047
  Replies (37) Good night (4702) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

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  (514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes http://tfl.nu/cth1
  Replies (21) Good night (7554) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

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  (732): My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore http://tfl.nu/2pmj
  Replies (38) Good night (5071) Bad night (1448) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.

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  (201): she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said. http://tfl.nu/ngdj
  Replies (9) Good night (563) Bad night (2846) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.

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  (716): When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex. http://tfl.nu/mu23
  Replies (14) Good night (3669) Bad night (898)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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  (601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2047) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.

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  (813): We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing. http://tfl.nu/09y7
  Replies (4) Good night (1715) Bad night (541)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".

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  (312): I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards". http://tfl.nu/xpqo
  Replies (6) Good night (2160) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.

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  (307): this is worse than the time i threw up a condom. http://tfl.nu/98sx
  Replies (15) Good night (733) Bad night (4795) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?

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  (785): She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right? http://tfl.nu/iw36
  Replies (20) Good night (3343) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He sprained his penis one time

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis

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  (603): He sprained his penis one time (603): He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis http://tfl.nu/1fye
  Replies (21) Good night (477) Bad night (2084)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.

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  (+61): The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there. http://tfl.nu/zi0e
  Replies (11) Good night (1887) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.

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  (816): We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it. http://tfl.nu/u2s4
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (321)

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