Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

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  (386): No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable. http://tfl.nu/h3dd
  Replies (13) Good night (558) Bad night (1946)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

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  (775): i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure http://tfl.nu/ggme
  Replies (19) Good night (1281) Bad night (1876)
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  (718): View more from New York

  is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?

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  (718): is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy? http://tfl.nu/hdnt
  Replies (54) Good night (2231) Bad night (1093)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.

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  (814): I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester. http://tfl.nu/p4o8
  Replies (29) Good night (4750) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.

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  (214): The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it. http://tfl.nu/df00
  Replies (38) Good night (6202) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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  (608): no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed. http://tfl.nu/ynv2
  Replies (13) Good night (5351) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you can't hurt those

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  (314): I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over (314): you can't hurt those http://tfl.nu/gmcq
  Replies (7) Good night (4568) Bad night (1001)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition

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  (610): i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition http://tfl.nu/g0ip
  Replies (14) Good night (825) Bad night (4998)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join

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  (772): No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join http://tfl.nu/0bbm
  Replies (2) Good night (2899) Bad night (1000)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."

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  (512): I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy." http://tfl.nu/udmr
  Replies (15) Good night (1560) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends

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  (517): I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends http://tfl.nu/sky7
  Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will

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  (313): Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will http://tfl.nu/g3an
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"

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  (440): Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!" http://tfl.nu/2j1e
  Replies (11) Good night (1789) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?

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  (516): My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently? http://tfl.nu/xsqm
  Replies (5) Good night (470) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...

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  (260): as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is... http://tfl.nu/earv
  Replies (16) Good night (714) Bad night (1255)

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