my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.