Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
