He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
