And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
