I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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