just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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