I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
