Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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