Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
