Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
