Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Life is so much better after having sex.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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