i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
