Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
