I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
