I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
should my penis look like a turkey
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
