Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
