oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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