dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
