I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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