My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
