I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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