she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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