why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
