Sry I called you an 8
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
