watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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