O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
