seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
