Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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