Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize