seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you made out with another girl for some wings
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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