he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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