He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
