Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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