I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize