Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
