watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
