did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
