Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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