Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
