I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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