I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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