its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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