don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Tornado booty call.. dedication
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
