I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
