so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
