i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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