I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
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