He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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