trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
